Read e-book online I Rant, Therefore I Am PDF

By Dennis Miller

ISBN-10: 076790575X

ISBN-13: 9780767905756

Once more there is excellent news for these folks who rage on the night information, shake our heads at Washington's business-as-usual, or watch as politicians carom helplessly among political crises and intercourse scandals: Dennis Miller is again together with his 3rd installment of hilarious observations, I Rant, hence I Am.Dennis Miller first received nationwide acclaim because the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend replace" on "Saturday evening Live." while HBO premiered his weekly speak exhibit in April 1994, either critics and fanatics enthusiastically agreed: "Dennis Miller stay" used to be the main fresh speak exhibit on television.The accolades have endured to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his employees gained an Emmy Award for writing and feature been on a regular basis nominated seeing that. while he is taking the degree, the viewers calls for, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once more, Dennis Miller can provide the products. lovers of his clever, quirky, irreverent sort of humor are in for an additional treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the final rounds.Dennis Miller retains on ranting in I Rant, accordingly i'm, and speaks his brain on issues like:MODELS-"How ironic that the main exquisite-looking humans on the earth may still turn out picking out the occupation that calls for them to spend all day via the telephone watching for the main hideous humans to name them."COLLEGE-"I do not believe you'll have to pay again collage loans except you get a role on your box. placed a few strain at the institution. If i will not pay my debts, i am not paying yours." CONSUMERS-"You know the way to inform in case you have a purchasing challenge? whilst the lighting within the division shop momentarily dim once they slide your bank card in the course of the thing."FAITH-"I envy those who can simply allow pass and absolutely dedicate. I, nevertheless, cannot even listen the name of the convey 'Touched via an Angel' with no pondering expert baseball participant is being sued for sexual harassment."ASTRONAUTS-"Anybody who may strap themselves onto a huge deodorant spray can, trigger a chain of explosions below their ass until eventually they have been blasted into the icy vacuum of deep area, after which step open air to take a stroll should have extra balls than a twenty-four-hour Tokyo using range."

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That would be like saying that the nation's most vocal proponent of family values had an affair with another woman while his wife was on her deathbed... Never mind. Former Speaker Newt Gingrich sums up the Republicans' problems in a nutcase. Their most extreme members are more out of step with the rest of America than Joe Cocker in a line dance. Remember, this is the party of Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms, men so stiff they make Herman Munster look like Alvin Ailey. The classic, distilled philosophical difference between Republicans and Democrats has always been about the ideal size and scope of government.

Cm. 1. American wit and humor. I. Title: I rant, therefore I am. II. Title. 54—dc21 99-055833 ISBN 0-385-49535-8 Copyright © 2000 by Dennis Miller All Rights Reserved Printed in the United States of America July 2000 FIRST EDITION 13579 10 8642 For Carolyn (Ali), Holden and Marlon-Oliver You are the loves of my life. Table of Contents Preface. 4 Talk Shows 5 The Social Responsibility of the President 6 Work- Obsessed People. 8 The End of Privacy. 9 Style vs. Substance. 10 Money & Greed. 12 The Oscars 14 Going Bald.

They're like a sod farm for Paula Cole's armpits. You know, because we're so entranced by outside appearances, we easily fall for imitations. For example, there's this guy right now who's becoming pretty successful doing what is essentially a pale imitation of me. He's stolen all my moves, he sounds like me, he even looks remarkably like I do, and people are going wild about him. Damn you, Leonardo DiCaprio! Damn you to Hell! In no other arena does style triumph over substance more than in politics.

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I Rant, Therefore I Am by Dennis Miller

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