Gove's goons are utter tweets 7
Labour's impolite boys: Gavel Basher 8
Baku handers! MPs swallow caviar international relations 9
Farmers' pork with Tesco: Agri Brigade 11
Squarebasher on Mali's silver lining 15
Heathrow havoc? Blame deepest fairness 29
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Extra info for Private Eye [UK], Issue 1333 (8-21 February 2013)
Add to that the two hundred pistoles that you are going to give me, and that will make exactly sixteen thousand francs that I will pay the first chance I get. MRS JOURDAIN (Aside to Mr Jourdain) There. Didn't I tell you? MR JOURDAIN Hush! DORANTE Loaning me that sum won't put you out, I hope. MR JOURDAIN Oh, no! MRS JOURDAIN (Aside to Mr Jourdain) That man is milking you dry. MR JOURDAIN Hold your tongue! DORANTE If that would inconvenience you, I could go elsewhere. MR JOURDAIN No, sir. MRS JOURDAIN He won't be happy until he's put you in the poorhouse.
Do you wish to write to her in verse? MR JOURDAIN No, no. No verse. PHLSPHY MSTR Then you only want prose? MR JOURDAIN No, I want neither prose nor verse. PHLSPHY MSTR But it's got to be one or the other, sir. MR JOURDAIN Why? PHLSPHY MSTR For the simple reason, sir, that one can only express one's self in prose or in verse. MR JOURDAIN Is there nothing then but prose or verse? PHLSPHY MSTR No, sir. All that is not prose is verse, and all that is not verse is prose. MR JOURDAIN And when one speaks, what's that?
Hoho! " Hold on, my friend. " Here you are, that's what your lordship gives you. He hands out more money. APPRENTICE Your lordship, we shall all drink to the health of your Grace. " Oh! Oh! Oh! Wait. Don't leave. "Your Grace" to me! (Aside) Good heavens, if he goes as far as Your Highness, he'll have my entire purse. (Aloud as he hands out more money) Here you are. " APPRENTICE We thank his Lordship most humbly for his generosity. MR JOURDAIN A good thing he stopped for I was about to give him everything.
Private Eye [UK], Issue 1333 (8-21 February 2013)