Download e-book for kindle: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jokes by Larry Getlen

By Larry Getlen

ISBN-10: 1592575382

ISBN-13: 9781592575381

The funniest jokes from the funniest people

Now readers may have hilarious quips at their fingertips with this choice of jokes damaged down via type and cross-referenced. And if their supply leaves anything to be wanted (i.e., laughs), actual recommendation from comedians and a few of the nation's best motivational and company audio system can assist them maintain their viewers in stitches.
• contains greater than 1500 of the funniest strains from the funniest comedians
• Jokes are simply referenced and cross-referenced for numerous uses-business, speeches, toasts, etc.
• comprises jokes and recommendation from Dave Barry, Wendy Liebman, Penn Jillette, and others
• Foreword by means of Gilbert Gottfried
• Written via an skilled comic and comedy writer

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Rodney Dangerfield w as a struggling comedian for years-performing under the nome Jock Roywho gave up on comedy in his 30s to sell aluminum siding . He didn't return ond find sue· cess under his new nome, Rodney Dangerfield, until his early 40s. I saw my father naked once. But it was ob). -Sarah Silverman \t\fhen my mom got mad, she would say, "Your butt is my meat," and I always wondered, what wine goes with that? -Paula Poundstone 1 had the "plastic furniture) ou couldn't sit on" house. It's like living in a museum-towels you could ne,·er touch, china that no one's ever gonna use.

I got off on a technicality. -Barry Crimmins \¥ hat a wonderful thing to be conscious. -vVoody Allen I don't like being in the South. ~ · . I don't like being anywhere ~~ Blatant l1es -----. that "mosey" is a speed. Alonzo wrote this joke -Alonzo Bodden oher gelling a speeding ticket in Alabama-while on foot. He was caught doing 2 1 don't think I could raise kids in a 1. A. There's choppers searching for fugitives, like, once a month. 'What do you tell a kid? A. n showbiz. I went to the gas station, and the gas station attendant told me he was a former porno movie star.

Gold. "Tell some talking animal joke or whatever, which seems benign, then hit them with a nice morbid punch line," says comedian D. C. Benn~. ·The key is to contrast the environment, the teller's persona , and the sub1ect ma"er. " I was in a rcco d · S ,rR11 . CD r store tn cattle and they had tl1ose Sound 5 to 1 m tl · Wh 0 thc IlCII ·Ill Seattle ·ts going to pay money O 'l Mc~:~th~at? -Moody Chicago is known as th w· . - Mitch Hedberg Hollywood's a terrible place. \Vhen you meet a guy there, the first question you ask yourself is, "1 don't know.

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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jokes by Larry Getlen

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