Read e-book online The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure PDF

By Jack Handey

ISBN-10: 1455522384

ISBN-13: 9781455522385

The mythical Deep Thoughts and New Yorker stand-up comedian Jack Handey is again together with his first actual novel-a hilarious, absurd, far-flung event tale.

THE STENCH OF HONOLOLU

Are you keen on books within which well-known vacationer locations are repurposed as unlivable hellholes for no specific cause? learn on!

Jack Handey's unique story is stuffed with laugh-out-loud twists and unforgettable characters whose names get away me right away. A reliably unreliable narrator and his buddy, who's another man, have to get out of city. they've got a style for event, in order that they pay a trip to a relic of bygone days-a trip agent-and realize an outdated treasure map. She could have been a witch, incidentally. Our heroes quickly embark on a quest for the Golden Monkey, which takes them into the mysterious and smelly international land of Honolulu. There, they meet untold risks, confront unusual natives, kill and consume Turtle humans, kill another issues and other people, devour one other factor, and detect the ruins of old civilizations.

As our narrator says, "The ruins have been outstanding. yet like such a lot of civilizations, they forgot the rule of thumb that may have stored them: Don't permit vines develop in all places you."

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That would be like saying that the nation's most vocal proponent of family values had an affair with another woman while his wife was on her deathbed... Never mind. Former Speaker Newt Gingrich sums up the Republicans' problems in a nutcase. Their most extreme members are more out of step with the rest of America than Joe Cocker in a line dance. Remember, this is the party of Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms, men so stiff they make Herman Munster look like Alvin Ailey. The classic, distilled philosophical difference between Republicans and Democrats has always been about the ideal size and scope of government.

Cm. 1. American wit and humor. I. Title: I rant, therefore I am. II. Title. 54—dc21 99-055833 ISBN 0-385-49535-8 Copyright © 2000 by Dennis Miller All Rights Reserved Printed in the United States of America July 2000 FIRST EDITION 13579 10 8642 For Carolyn (Ali), Holden and Marlon-Oliver You are the loves of my life. Table of Contents Preface. 4 Talk Shows 5 The Social Responsibility of the President 6 Work- Obsessed People. 8 The End of Privacy. 9 Style vs. Substance. 10 Money & Greed. 12 The Oscars 14 Going Bald.

They're like a sod farm for Paula Cole's armpits. You know, because we're so entranced by outside appearances, we easily fall for imitations. For example, there's this guy right now who's becoming pretty successful doing what is essentially a pale imitation of me. He's stolen all my moves, he sounds like me, he even looks remarkably like I do, and people are going wild about him. Damn you, Leonardo DiCaprio! Damn you to Hell! In no other arena does style triumph over substance more than in politics.

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The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure by Jack Handey


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