Joan Woodward's Understanding Ourselves: The Uses of Therapy PDF

By Joan Woodward

ISBN-10: 0333446720

ISBN-13: 9780333446720

ISBN-10: 1349192465

ISBN-13: 9781349192465

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Such children can become highly competitive as they compulsively continue their search for parental love and approval. Alice Miller points out that most frequently any clear memory concerning feelings about these experiences is actually denied. The childhood experiences are exposed again and again by the adult behaving in exactly the same way as he or she was treated in their own childhood. It seems that this 'shutting of our minds', this virtual inability to hear what might provoke too deep a challenge to our belief systems, may well be the most effective method that we use to prevent us from changing.

So dressed, he would ask his wife to tie him up, always in the same way, using belts. This produced enormous levels of sexual arousal and he would then masturbate to orgasm. This 'charade', as it came to be called, had previously been understood with his Freudian psychoanalyst solely in terms of his forbidden sexual desires for his mother and the resulting guilt that he was struggling to overcome. His wife took a very understanding and tolerant view of it and went along with it all. This was done mainly to please him, but also because she felt that she would have to be more involved with him sexually than she wanted, if these needs were thwarted.

One of the clearest examples of this is when a small child is separated from its mother. Some years ago this was a very common occurrence whenever a little child went into hospital. Small children in hospital feel deserted and uncomprehending of why their mother, whom at this point is particularly needed, has 'gone away'. When the child's mother comes to visit, particularly if there has been a gap of some days, she finds her child turning away from her. Nowadays separation more commonly occurs because the mother has been in hospital.

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Understanding Ourselves: The Uses of Therapy by Joan Woodward

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