By Harriet Braiker
A robust software to forestall manipulators of their tracks
In Who's Pulling Your Strings?, Dr. Harriet B. Braiker, New York Times bestselling writer of The sickness to Please, explains how melancholy, low vainness, anger, and emotions of helplessness may be brought on by relationships with manipulative humans. She exposes the most typical equipment of manipulators, and with assistance from self-assessment quizzes, motion plans, and how-to workouts, she is helping you know and finish the manipulative cycle for strong.
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Additional info for Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life
Moreover, you 38 Ch04_Braiker_140278-0 6/23/03 10:34 PM Page 39 Your Buttons Are Showing need to avoid criticism, rejection, and abandonment at almost any price. At the core of your niceness is a dread fear of rejection and abandonment. If you are a people-pleaser, you believe that by being nice and always doing things for others—even at your own expense—you will avoid the feelings that you so dread. There is nothing wrong or unhealthy about valuing the approval of others, especially those you love and respect.
Even worse, just the anticipation of feeling guilty—and the need to avoid feeling guilty—is what you use to manipulate yourself into doing things that you may not want to do. People-pleasers frequently justify and explain their compliance or collusion with manipulators by stating that they cannot stand to feel guilty, so they give in to whatever the demand—often even to just the anticipation of the demand. People-pleasing habits and mind-sets are an obvious tell or a dead give-away. If you have the “disease to please,” manipulators can spot you coming a mile away.
If you scored a 0, you are not an easy target for a manipulator. However, you would be unwise to believe that you are completely invulnerable to manipulation. Remember, anybody can fall prey to a skilled manipulator under the right circumstances. It is possible that those circumstances have yet to visit you. Review the statements that you marked true. Think about how each statement might be used by a manipulative person out to gain control over you. In fact, each of the statements represents part of a belief system that forms the underpinning for your behavior, moods, and personality traits.
Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life by Harriet Braiker